PERTH - QUOKKAS, GNOMES & FREE CHOCOLATE

Firstly, apologies for the recent lack of updates. We did get off the Indian Pacific train and have been doing lots of exciting things, hence the slack-attack. So here I am to tell you about a few things we got up to in the lovely city of Perth on the West coast of Australia. Are you sitting comfortably?

Perth, capital city of West Australia, lies on the banks of the Swan River and has a reputation for sunshine and an easy-going lifestyle which we fell into very easily. Its one and a half million residents are known as Sandgropers, named after the native insect that is also happiest dwelling in the sand. We were very lucky to have been able to stay with Gwen, who we had met in the Pier in Aber last summer for a drink - little did she suspect that morning that her life would be turned upside-down six months later! Gwen's home, or Gwen's Bwthyn Bach to give it the name on the door, is a little corner of Wales in Oz. Gwen's family hails from good Welsh stock and the first things I noticed as we walked into the kitchen were a photo of Tregaron square on the fridge, the teatowel featuring Welsh castles, a painting of Constitution Hill on the wall and Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau inscribed on a slate on the wall.

Sandgropers certaily know how to relax and have a good time and have a knack of being able to pack a gourmet picnic in five minutes flat. Our regular Sunday night out was an evening at the open air cinema at Joondalup Pines which was a complete novelty for both of us. The cinema is situated on the outskirts of the city, so we'd take a picnic. We would meet up with friends who had also brought picnics and two hours before the movie started, our picnic bench would be laden with delights that would be washed down with a couple of bottles of Australia's finest. We'd then grab a cappuccino before taking our seats, made comfier by half the pillows and bedding brought from home. The films that we saw were excellent foreign movies, shown as part of the Perth International Arts Festival and it was so easy to forget where you were and suddenly look up and see the stars and get excited about the venue all over again. You'll be glad to hear that I resisted the urge to make shadow animal shapes on the screen.

Another regular slot was the beach. Every morning that we possibly could (and even some mornings when we had to change other arrangements to fit around it), we would start the day with an hours walk on the beach followed by a lovely swim. They say that the beaches in West Australia are some of the best in the world and they are right. The whitest of soft sands are lapped by the bluest, clearest waters that I've ever seen. I can't think of a better reason to get up from bed in the morning, even after the few shark-infested tales we've heard along the way. The first bit of our walk took us through the Animal Exercise Area which was a delight, with hundreds of dogs and their owners running riot. Tennis balls and squeaky toys flew through the air as dogs of all shapes and sizes were either carried or cajoled into the water whilst others just careered in, bowling over anything in their path, including me in the case of a huge brown thing that ran into the back of my legs, buckling my knees and tipping me over into an undignified heap. There were even dogs on surf boards! Things get a little more refined and sedate at the far end of the beach as this is where horses are exercised. Watching them swim was a real joy but it was best to avoid taking a dip anywhere near this little patch, if you get my drift!

Gwen took us out for a few 'spins' in the car. The first was a 600km round trip, so naturally, we took a picnic. Our destination was The Pinnacles - huge limestone pillars, some up to 12 feet tall that have been left exposed as surrounding desert sands have been blown away over the ages. It looks just like a lunar landscape and I was half expecting a couple of Clangers to appear by my side. Nearby is Lake Thetis, where you will find living fossils known as stromatolites. Not much to look at, just stony mounds the size of a wheel hub, sitting there doing nothing, then you read that they are hundreds of thousands of years old and still growing, so I poked one with my finger for good measure before we left.

Another 'spin' took us on a trip of 400km into the lush Ferguson Valley, so naturally, we took a picnic. We ended up at a bizzare spot called Gnomesville in the middle of nowhere. Gnomesville came to be many years ago when an unwanted and unloved garden gnome was made gnomeless and left all alone on a roundabout outside the village. By next morning, he had been joined by another gnome, then another and another, until today when there are literally thousands of gnomes that have over-run their gnome on the roundabout and are now living in the ferny undergrowth by a creek in a nearby wood. They are left by people from all over the world, single gnomes, pairs and even groups with family names written on their little hats. Needless to say, they were joined by a little Welsh gnome called Dai, who has moved in next to a gnome from Cwmbran!

The island of Rottnest lies 18km off the coast of Perth and we caught the morning ferry over from Freemantle, planning to return on the last, so naturally, we took a picnic. Armed with a ticket for the island Hop On - Hop Off Bay Explorer Bus, a map, sunnies and swimming togs, we spent the day walking and swimming at the most spectacular deserted beaches surrounded by shoals of fish. Marc ventured a little deeper and was rewarded by jewel-coloured corals and sealife and was even stalked and had his finger bitten by a little puffer fish for his trouble. The island is home to cute furry little creatures called quokkas - just imagine a cross between a kangaroo and a rat. We saw a few running about around the island and one even posed for some photos but I came face to face with a huge one as I went into the ladies loo. I looked at it and it looked at me, frozen to the spot, so I went out to give it a chance to leave. It didn't emerge so I peered in again and it was still looking in my direction so we played peek-a-boo for a minute before it made a run for it.

We spent a brilliant afternoon in the Perth Mint (no picnic, but great Asian Caff next door). We saw gold nuggets big enough to make your eyes water and even had a go at lifting a gold bar. If my handbag had been bigger, by hook or by crook, I would definately have got it out of the tiny wrist-sized hole in the glass box that I had to poke my hand through to lift it. We saw a demonstration of casting of a gold bar which cooled from liquid gold to a solid bar in about 20 seconds. Sadly, they weren't giving any away that day. There was also an opportunity to get on a pair of scales that gave your weight in gold. I was worth $13mAUD, but Marc is happy to settle for the nearest offer.

For our last week before leaving, we loaded up Gwen's car with everything but the kitchen sink (it wouldn't fit in) and headed off for South West Australia to spend the week touring, sightseeing and staying with friends and family of Gwen's along the way. Our first stop was at Gwen's sister's winery called Wandering Brook in a town called, guess what - Wandering! It was only a quick visit, but enough time to pick up some supplies, taste a few samples and get a few labels for Marc's global collection. By the evening, we had arrived with Daphne and Peter who farm at Katanning, a busy regional centre at the heart of the South West which holds a really bizzare world record. The Dog in a Ute event involves the coming together of two great rural Aussie icons – the ‘Ute’ (pick-up truck) and man’s best friend, the ‘Dog’. The world record for the largest gathering was smashed (or should I say chewed to bits) in 2002 when 1527 Utes with a dog in the back turned out in a fine showing, raising funds for charity to boot. Peter has become my official blog Quality Controller and will be checking factual details from now on to ensure accuracy.

We then descended on Gwen's brother Kev, who still lives in Mount Barker, where the family were brought up. Next morning, we piled into Kev's truck for a day out in Albany where we went to the Whaleworld Centre, now an excellent museum on the site that was Australia's last working whaling station that closed in 1978. It was backbreaking and smelly work, the photos of observers above the flensing deck where the disembowelling and boiling down of the blubber took place show them all holding their noses!

Those of you that remember the children's programme, Mary, Mungo & Midge (Carwyn's favourite, mine was Mr Ben) will be able to picture the next bit very well. Right in the centre of Albany there is a landmark called Dog Rock. It is a boulder about 20 feet tall shaped exactly like a dog's head, and it could have been modelled on Mungo. It has a stripey collar painted around the base and the road system has been developed around it. Even the Dog Rock Vets practice nearby has taken it's name. It was fantastic (well it amused me anyway, Marc didn't bother getting out of the car!).

The charabang rolled on in a Westerly direction through the forests of huge Karri trees that is Tall Timber country. We stopped at Valley of the Giants Tree Top Walk to venture up a walkway suspended 40 metres above the ground in the tree canopy, which swayed gently in the breeze. It swayed even more when Marc was rocking it from side to side. A sign at the start advised that there should be no more than 10 people on one 'span' at any one time and no more than 20 on a linking platform. One woman spent all her time counting people and shrieking "I can't look down" and "Don't touch me"! Really worth her going up then ...

The next stop involved an even taller tree - a 61 metre high fire look out called the Gloucester Tree. The tree was made redundant a few years ago but still retains its access to the viewing platform at the top - a series of steel rods drilled into the trunk in a steep spiral fashion. There aren't any branches until about half way up and all that stops anyone from falling into oblivion is a pretty flimsy looking piece of pig-fencing draped around the edge. From this you may have gathered that I chose not to climb, but someone else was up there like a rat up a drainpipe. Marc stayed up there so long that Gwen and I thought that he'd decided to take residence but it turns out that he was taking some amazing photos to prove that he'd made it and wasn't just hiding around the back of the trunk all of the time.

We made it to Busselton by early evening and were spoilt rotten by Cissy and Dave who threw a superb BBQ. Next morning we walked the 2km to the end of Busselton Jetty, the second longest in the world (Southend being the record holder)where we descended under the waves into the Underwater Observatory. Imagine a huge concrete tube up-ended and sunk into the sea and a rainbow of creatures peering in at us as they swam around the corals that have grown on the pylons that anchor the observatory to the sea-bed. It was excellent.

One place that has to be mentioned is the Margaret River Chocolate Company, of which we had heard rave reviews thousands of kilometers away in Melbourne. This place doesn't advertise much, it can depend on reputation and word of mouth. Mind you, even the tattiest sign at the side of the road saying 'Chocolate' would guarantee that most cars with a female passenger would turn in immediately! This is the nearest you'll get to Willy Wonka's - the first things that catch your eye as you go in are the three massive bowls of dark, milk and white chocolate buttons that you can taste for free whilst your nose is pressed up against the glass partition behind which there are huge vats of melted chocolate and Oompa Loompas hand decorating heavenly treats. As you walk around the big shop, trying to decide what not to buy, a strange invisible force draws you back to the freebie bowls time and time again and it's not until you leave that you see the choccie 'bites' for sale in boxes and realise that you've snaffled about $10 worth on your way round. Oh joy!

Our time in Perth shot past and there are still so many things to tell you about, but don't worry, if you're lucky I'll bore you to sleep one evening this winter with more tales. Thanks again to Gwen for being a complete star, giving us her time and letting us have the run of her lovely house. We look forward to having her to stay the next time she's round our way.

Coming soon(ish), Uluru and A Town called Alice ...