SABADEE FROM LAOS - THE LAND OF A MILLION ELEPHANTS

Marc has gone off for the day with Martha and Tomos doing something on the river involving an inner tube of a lorry wheel and a lifejacket, which he can tell you all about again. As I only got my 25m swimming badge about a week before my driving licence it didn't really appeal to me and I've got plans for this afternoon that involve a mango smoothie and foot massage, a far more relaxing prospect, so I'd better get on with it.

We seem to have done so much in the last few days and we have certainly travelled hundreds and hundreds of kilometres by boat and bus, so if you're sitting comfortably ...

We crossed the border from Thailand to Laos after a lot of kerfuffle of being stamped out of one country and stamped into the next. The People's Democratic Republic of Laos is one of the poorest and most remote countries in the world, having opened its doors to the rest of the world only in the last 10 years. We were packed into a long slow-boat for the 2 day journey down the mightly Mekong river, stopping overnight at Pak Beng en route. We had been warned beforehand that time-keeping in Laos is a very hit and miss affair - "in a minute'' can mean anything from half an hour to next week and we waited an hour and a half in the boat on a rock-hard wooden bench before the boat left the pier. It was a hazy morning and soon after leaving, just beyond the banks became dense, lush forests of bamboo, banana and dozens of other different trees. The river itself is as brown as gravy and is infamous for it's strong currents and we steered our way through whirlpools and around rocks, some poor souls (on the other side thank heavens) getting soaked a few times by waves that splashed into the boat. The amazing scenery and sight of tiny settlements living, working and playing on the banks of the river took our minds off the fact that our bottoms were fast asleep and legs stiff and crampy.

After 8 long hours as dusk fell, we pulled over into the tiny village of Pak Beng. No sooner had we wobbled our way down the gang-plank onto the sand-bank, we were surrounded by boys keen to run off with our ruck-sacks and guesthouse owners falling over each other to get our business. We settled for a guesthouse with the promise of a hot shower for 2 minutes - this turned out to be no minutes but what can you expect for 2 quid a night. As the town runs on generators the electricity supply is cut off at 10.30pm (and it still hadn't come back when we left at 8.30am) and we were provided with a candle for the night (but no matches). We left Pak Beng for another 8 hour journey to Luang Prabang, this time in a slightly more plush boat - this one had curtains and tassels and a floor - the boat the day before was just the metal hull underfoot. The second day was a bit sunnier and Marc enjoyed it more than the first - but I dozed through a large part of it! We saw more life on the second day and stopped a few times to pick up Lao passengers and drop off provisions and the children would all run down and wave. And so we arrived at Luang Prabang, the old capital city, just as it got dark and once again we were accosted by the local guesthouse possy, but this time Marc made sure that there was hot water.

LUANG PRABANG

It is said that Luang Prabang is a tonic for the soul and it's easy to see why. It retains the influence of French Colonial times in its language and architecture and it is an UNESCO World Heritage site. No large vehicles are allowed into the town and chickens and small black pigs wonder around the streets of the old quarter down by the river. Monks collect alms from the people at dawn every day and there is a general curfew which means that all businesses must close at 11.30pm to enable everyone to be at their registered abode by midnight - this includes tourists.

We took a trip out to the Khung Si waterfalls in the afternoon which were lovely. They are a series of 7 waterfalls and aquamarine pools set in lush vegetation with a rope-swing over one of the bigger pools. Yes, there will be photos of Marc swinging into the water following soon! In the park we also saw Phet who is a 7 year old Indo-Chinese tiger. Phet's mother was shot by poachers just after she was born. By the time she was four days old, she had been sold 4 times within the illegal wildlife trade and was rescued just in time. Today she is a stunning 7 year old creature and the figurehead of an organisation to Keep Tigers Free. We also met some other great little chaps - small black Asiatic Moon Bears (they have a white crescent shape on their chests). These were also rescued from the terrible fate of a life in a bile-farm. We just had to buy a t-shirt with bear prints all over it.

We ate a hearty supper on a makeshift table from a street vendor then wondered around the night market which is just a riot of colour and incredible smells. The handicrafts here are absolutely beautiful - I wanted to buy just about everything. All this talent is so incredibly cheap to buy - we were reminded in a note in the back of a menu of a restaurant owned by a Westerner that the average daily earning here is less than we were paying for a bottle of beer and while there are 20,000 Lao kips to one pound and we could be trying to barter for a few thousand kips off a price, we are only talking about a matter of pennies for us, but education and health provision for the families of these incredibly nice and polite people. I would really have liked to have spent more time here and will definately coming back one day (but I think I''ll fly in - I'm not doing that boat trip again!)

VANG VIENE

We arrived here yesterday afternoon after the most incredible journey, for more than one reason. As soon as we left Luang Prabang we started a 6 hour, 230km journey of twists and turns, up and downs across a series of interlocking valleys. It was just like driving up and down a corkscrew. I'm sure that as the crow flies, it was only about 50km in total. The mountains around us were stunning - it is called karst scenery (maybe Myfanwy, our geology guru can explain more) with great big mountains with jagged ridges and sheer sides covered in dense forest. Vang Viene is a one horse-town that looks as if it has just landed in the middle of nowhere amonsgt these great mountains. There is one main street, lined with bars and guesthouses and some further places to stay down by the river, which is where we managed to get a room. The reason that Vang Viene is so popular is its setting, remoteness and tranquility which has of course being ruined by the hoards of party goers that descend here to take advantage of the liberal attitude to drugs. No self-respecting Lao would still be living here out of choice I'm sure in the Ibiza-type atmosphere. Having said that, a few of us went to a Full Moon Party last night (just to see what it was like of course) that was being held on an island in the river just behind our hotel. After a couple of hours of seeing people drinking cocktails of beer and spirits out of small plastic buckets, wearing their pants on their head and climbing up trees howling at the moon (which by now had gone into hiding behind the clouds) we left the party to the relative calm of the town. At least I can put on my CV that I've been to one.

Before I sign off, I'd just like to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO GWENDA - have a Pina Colada for me!

OK, I'm off now, Marc can fill in the gaps in the Language of Heaven later. That foot massage is calling ... xxx